When you’re the child of the dictator you have some serious expectations on your head, and if you do a good job then the planet hates you all the more: you’re stuck with either an enraged and psychopathic dad, or a reputation as being one of the scummiest people on Earth. But what exactly is it like growing up with a violent and evil dictator as a father? Here are the top 22 craziest stories about what it’s like to be the kid of the most hated men to ever live, and spoiler: it’s not exactly gum drops and lollipops!
#22 – Nicu Ceausescu (Nicolae Ceausescu)
Nicolai Ceausescu is pretty much the worst thing to ever come to Romania, and with him he brought a terribly oppressive regime that enforced curfews and limited public speech. For 15 years Ceausescu bullied the Romanian populace to the point of mass depression, so when he began having kids the people feared the reign would only continue with his hellish spawns. Nicu Ceausescu was close with his father, and his inheritance of his father’s position seemed guaranteed: he was trained by two brilliant communist minds in preparation for taking his father’s place.
Nicu was almost as despised as his father was: he had a terrible reputation as both a rapist and an alcoholic. Nicu also had a tendency to gamble heavily and then getting into car accidents as a result of his binge drinking, and would commonly endanger the Romanian people with his horrible driving practices. After Nicolai was executed for his crimes against the country, Nicu was imprisoned for 20 years for being accused of holding child prisoners; he was released early due to suffering from an extreme case of Cirrhosis, he died 4 years later in a hospital having (thankfully) never picking up where his father left off.
#21 – Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue (Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo)
If you’ve never heard of Equatorial Guinea then certainly aren’t the first, which also means you’re unfamiliar with its god awful living conditions and horrible leader. Mbasogo took his position by force when he ousted his uncle, and he has now held the position of “president” since 1979: a title that he hopes on to pass on to his son. Compared to some of the other names on the list Mbasogo is just a small fry, but he has still built up a rap sheet including unlawful killings, government sanctioned kidnapping, and of course the systematic torture of both prisoners and detainees.
Mbasogo’s son, Teodorin, is currently the Second Vice President of Equatorial Guinea, but he is hoping to call himself the president some day. It didn’t take long before the young Teodorin started racking up millions in embezzlement charges, but he needed the money because he was spending huge amounts of money on champagne and cars: he is currently be investigated and people are threatening to confiscate his vehicles, but when your father has a reputation for murder the judicial process slows down some.
#20 – Jean-Claude Duvalier (Francois Duvalier)
Jean-Claude Devualier is better known as “Baby Doc,” a name coined from his father’s infamous nickname: “Papa Doc.” Papa Doc was the president of Haiti from 1957 to 1971 and the odd part was that he was actually elected by the people rather than stealing his power, but after he became president he killed 60,000 Haitians so reelection was probably a bit more imminent. When you start knocking off entire families you quickly begin losing popularity and so Francois had to withstand more than one attempt to remove him from power.
Like his father, Jean-Claude ruled Haiti with an iron fist; after his father’s death he held onto every bit of power he could for the fifteen years. During the fifteen year dark period of Jean-Claude’s legacy thousands of Haitians were killed, hundreds of thousands of Haitians fled the country in fear, and he drank himself silly while delegating decision making to his advisors; living the high life isn’t difficult when you’re making millions off the trade of drugs and the selling of body parts from the citizens you kill. With so many dead folks as a result of the Devualier name it makes you wonder where these “Docs” went to med school.
#19 – Kim Jong II (Kim II Sung)
Most people are familiar with Kim Jong II, but he was nothing compared to his father, Kim II Sung, who created the very position that is currently being passed down to his family. Kim Il Sung brought socialism into North Korea, began a strong brainwashing and propaganda campaign naming him “the great leader,” and eventually claimed a seat of absolute power in the Country by running off any possible competition. When Kim Jong II inherited his father’s seat of power, he was intoxicated by the prospects of what he could do.
Kim Jong II completed his education in the “People’s Republic of China” in an effort to keep him safe during the ongoing Korean War, and donned the title “The Dear Leader” in order to differentiate his rule from his father’s. Kim Jong II furthered his father’s brainwashing campaign by editing the school’s curriculum to glorify both him and his father as gods: including the ridiculous notion that neither of them defecated or urinated. Kim Jong II’s time as the ruler of north Korea is still recognized as the most repressive government to ever exist, as its citizens could hardly be called anything more than prisoners!
#18 – Kim Jong Un (Kim Jong II)
The “Kim” family certainly takes “like father like son” to a whole new level. After Kim Jong II died at the age of 82 after suffering a severe heart attack his son adopted the title of “Supreme Leader,” and picked up right where his father left off. After getting a physics degree at the “Kim II-Sung University” (yes, seriously), and an “army officer degree” at the “Kim II-Sung Military University” (yes, I’m still being completely serious), Kim Jong Un was ready to start making the tough choices that a great leader needs to make.
Kim Jong Un’s first order of business was to eliminate military officials that had been loyal to his father’s rule, and over the next eleven months the entire North Korean senate of elected officials had either been removed from power or mysteriously disappeared. Un wasn’t even supposed to be selected for his father’s rule initially; his brother, Kim Jong Nam, was the family favorite until he was caught trying to enter Japan with a invalid passport trying to get into Disneyland: apparently not even the most evil of us can resist the temptations of Mickey Mouse.
#17 – Marko Milosevic (Slobodan Milosevic)
Slobodan Milosevic is the former president of Serbia and let’s just say this fellow has one heck of a campaign strategy: if you oppose him then you don’t live long enough to collect your votes. Slobo was originally elected as the President of the Socialist Republic of Serbia, but after he was elected he essentially took a piss on their constitution and started remaking all the rules to give him more power; the citizens obviously weren’t too happy with having their rights stripped, and after years of oppression and arrest they staged a 96 day protest that resulted in Slobo being removed from office.
Slobo’s son, Marko didn’t have any interest in conventional politics like his father had, and instead chose to pursue a life in organized crime (which is pretty much the same thing). After Slobo was removed from power Marko had to flee the Country, and sought out refuge in Russia. Marko has no respect for the wealth that helped build him to what he is, and to date he has crushed 17 luxury cars, and continued to exploit shopkeepers by blackmailing them. Perhaps the most disgusting thing that Marko has done to date is be connected with the murder of a business competitor named “Zeljko Raznatovic,” which I’m sure makes his father very proud that he is in the family business.
#16 – Uday Hussein (Saddam Hussein)
Even the younger readers will be familiar with the horrible reputation of the infamous Saddam Hussein, and heck, most of them were old enough to see the broadcast of his hanging. Uday Hussein was Saddam’s eldest son, and was spoiled by his father since he was destined to take his place after his death, but after Uday suffered grievous injuries as a result of an assassination attempt he was quickly replaced with his younger siblings in the pecking order. Uday was always a troubled soul growing up and he made sure that the people of Iraq felt the same suffering he did.
Uday was accused of some rather serious offenses, including numerous allegations of murder, torture, and rape, with his victims including members of both the Iraq Olympics team, and Iraq’s national football team. Even when he was younger Uday didn’t get along with others: he killed his father’s personal taste tester and valet over a minor disagreement. Uday excelled in his courses (on paper) but it was strongly implied that failing to give him exceptional marks would be seen as an unforgivable insult. When the U.S. invaded Iraq in 2003, Uday was killed after a three hour firefight at the age of 39: turns out the military is a wee bit stronger than a valet.
#15 – Faisal Wangita (Idi Amin)
Ida Amin was a Ugandan dictator for eight years and he got that power by convincing everyone that he would bring peace and democracy to the country: he lied through his teeth. Amin’s idea of peace was regulated death squads that kept his civilians in check, which resulted in racial oppression and the expulsion of 80,000 Asian people from Uganda. Ida is perhaps the most drastic and hardcore dictator out there, killing hundreds of thousands of citizens (some of which by feeding them to crocodiles), and broadcasting public executions of his own soldiers on T.V. so that no one would get any funny ideas.
Ida’s son, Faisal, grew up to be a real piece of scum like his father: he joined a gang and began terrorizing the citizens of Uganda since he knew he couldn’t be touched; at one point he and a group of 39 others beat a teenage boy to death with knives, hammers, bottles, and poles. After Ida’s fall from power he was jailed for five years for his past deeds, and while inside he faced swift justice: thirteen teenagers piled onto him and beat him to death while incarcerated.
#14 – Mutassim Gaddafi (Muammar Gaddafi)
Muammar Gaddafi famously had an “inner circle” of valuable political members that were empathetic towards his causes, and on that circle sat his son, Mutassim. Mutassim was conditioned from a young age to be a negotiator on behalf of his father, and as soon as he was old enough he was thrust into the role of an international diplomat who spoke on behalf of the Libyan people. Despite the horrible upbringings that a lot of political children seem to face, it turns out that Mutassim was more well rounded than the rest: in that he didn’t have strange compulsions towards rape and torture.
Mutassim met with both Hilary Clinton and John McCain, who described him as a polite albeit forward man that really seemed earnest about his intentions and improving the quality of the Libyan people but not everyone was such a fan of his politics; anti-Muammar rebels stormed his father’s home in Sirte, during the climax of the Libyan civil war, and executed him along with his father after holding him in captivity. Being the son of a ruler seems to severely limit your prospective lifespan.
#13 – Akihito (Hirohito)
Hirohito held the position of emperor in Japan from 1926 to 1989, and during that time he committed so many acts that it’s impossible to keep count (but let’s try anyways). Hirohito and his army was responsible for the “The Rape of Nanking” which claimed the lives of 300,000 people, he killed every Chinese prisoner of war that was captured, 200,000 women were sexually assaulted on his orders, he forced Chinese men to rape their own daughters, he enslaved over ten million people (most of which were murdered or cannibalized), and he used human beings for bayonet practice… which is basically the art of practicing stabbing things on live people. The worst part? We’re not even half way done.
Hirohito’s son, Akihito became the emperor in 1989 following his father’s death, and thank Christ has it been a major improvement (although that isn’t really saying much); he still holds the position today, and has made giant efforts in reducing the power and control that the royal family has over its citizens. After Akihito witnessed firsthand what an unchecked dictator can do, he never wants to see the same kind of horrible ruling ever befall his people again.
#12 – Sar Patchata (Pol Pot)
Pol Pot is such a despicable character that if Hitler were throwing a party for the world’s dictators he wouldn’t have invited him, although he couldn’t attend anyways because he was sentenced to a lifetime of house arrest. 1.7 million Cambodians starved to death as a result of Pot’s malicious policies, but the government still wanted his bloodline in the government and so they sent him a wife to bear his children: the result was Pol’s daughter, Sar. Pol loved Sar unconditionally, and promised her that growing up she would never want for anything (although he had a bad track record of keeping food on the table).
Sar lived a normal yet somewhat impoverished life, and without having to worry about her father being overbearing she was mainly left to her own devices while being cared for by her mother and the state. Sar got married in 2014 in a rather humble ceremony all things considered, and now spends her time like any other modern person: surfing the web and tweeting about her lunches. Sar is a perfectly normal woman except for one small detail: she may or may not still think her father was a good man and a patriot, rather than a mass murdering death machine: but hey, propaganda runs deep.
#11 – Claudia Augusta (Nero)
Nero was the 5th emperor of Rome and he is most well known for bringing the entire empire of Rome into ruin, and earning the nickname of Satan. If you’re familiar with the association of the number “666” then you might be interested to learn that the number is known as the “number of Nero,” as well as “the number of the beast,” because when 666 is transliterated from Hebrew into Greek it translates into “Nero Caesar.” Nero murdered every member of his family, thousands of innocents (including Peter and Paul of biblical lore) through horrendous methods like scalding hot baths and genital dismemberment, and burned down his city to wage a war on Christian innocents: what an upstanding guy!
Before he went totally nutty Nero was infatuated with his daughter, bestowing upon her and her mother the honorary title of “Augusta.” Claudia lived a peaceful life with her family, partaking in the highest educational allotments of Rome, and taking in interest in giving back to the Roman citizens. Claudia suddenly fell ill and died three months later; her father was devastated and declared her a goddess: it’s hypothesized that this loss was what drove Nero to act so maniacally.
#10 – Edda Mussolini (Benito Mussolini)
If you think you and your parents don’t get along then wait until you hear about Benito Mussolini and his poor daughter, Edda. Usually when you marry a fascist political propagandist it’s because your parents are trying to gain power, but in Edda’s case she did it for pure honest to god love. When Edda’s husband dissented on her father’s rule he was arrested for treason and sentenced to a brutal execution; she pleaded with her father to release her husband and claimed that if he carried through with the execution that their relationship would be dead, and a few days later it was.
Edda was furious about her husband’s execution and so she rebelled against her father in the only sensible way possible: she fled to Sweden and started sleeping with communist leaders while vocally undermining her father’s position; Benito was executed in April of 1945 by a group of Italian partisans, but those two events are probably completely unrelated, right? Perhaps the greatest achievement Edda ever had was smuggling the Count’s wartime diaries out of the country with her on her escape, which would later be published and used as a historical source for what was happening Italy during its most severe fascist period.
#9 – Julia Drusilla (Caligula)
Caligula (like his brother Nero) was a Roman emperor, and a particularly evil one at that. Within three months of his rise to power, 160,000 animals were sacrificed in his name, and he contracted a serious brain fever that rendered him delusional and violent. Caligula labeled himself as a god, and he started giving out executions like it was a Christmas giveaway on Oprah; he loved killing kids, feeding people to lions, sexually abusing his family members, sawing people in half (vertically not horizontally), and eating human testicles: now picture him as your dad for a moment.
There are plenty of stories about the complex lives that the children of these horrible dictators must face, which is why I feel it’s important to include a story that differs some from the rest. Caligula was despised so much by the Roman officials and civilians that he and his wife were assassinated in 41 AD, and when the murders took place they also killed one year old Julia; Caligula was so vile that superstitions surfaced that he might literally possess the body of his daughter, and so the baby was assassinated so that the world would never see the likes of him again!
#8 – Li Na (Mao Zedong)
Not much is known about Mao’s children because Mao didn’t have a habit of keeping them around very long; one died from dysentery, some were captured by Stalin, and he personally sent one to work in labor mines as a way to toughen him up, and he forced his third wife to bear his children and then abandon them directly after birth as a way of showing devotion to him and only him. Of the many children that Mao fathered over the course of his vicious campaigns, he did recognize two of his children as not only being of his blood, but of deserving his title of father: Li Na, and Li Min.
Li Min was a simple, humble and gentle girl, but Mao’s favorite, Li Na was an absolute fanatic just like her father: she was placed in a hard institution that combined agricultural labor with communist study to prepare her for a world where Mao ruled. Li Na went on to work in both the tenth National Congress of the Communist Party of China, held local authoritative roles, and worked in worked at the “People’s Liberation Army Daily,” which is a media outlet based out of China that speaks to the people regarding Communism.
#7 – Ellac (Attila the Hun)
Attila ruled the Hunnic Empire for nineteen years, and while doing so he became the most feared enemy of the Roman Empire. There was only one thing in the world that Attila cherished and that was the thrill of battle: he didn’t believe in the concept of taking prisoners, and he doled out death to so many people that he was thought to be a punishment from the heavens (giving him the nickname “Attilla the scourge of God”). Attila believed that the lives of non Huns were without meaning, and so he took hundreds of thousands of lives without discretion: literally tearing people limb from limb!
Attila had sons with only one thing in mind: creating trustworthy generals! His most beloved son was his oldest son Ellac, who would later go on to inherit his father’s empire after his death. Ellac was trained from a young age in the ways of combat, and his reign only lasted for two years before he was slain in battle like his father had been before him. Ellac was lucky to survive as long as he did, because his father had a habit of eating his own children!
#6 – Ogedei Khan (Genghis Khan)
What list of dictators would be complete without the glorious Genghis Khan!? Good ol’ Genghis was the Khan of the Mongolian Empire for 21 years, commanding an unimaginably large army that conquered most of China and every bit of land up to the Caspian Sea. Genghis was one of the most ruthless men to ever live: he took over 700,000 lives in a single battle, massacred civilians to discover the locations of their treasure, raped more women than anyone to ever live, drank the blood of horses, used human beings in place of a shield, enslaved thousands of people, and eradicated up o 30% of the world’s entire fricken population (60 million people)!
Let’s be honest here: Genghis had so much sex that there are sixteen million people that are related to him, but his most cherished son was Ogedei Khan (who said that parents don’t play favorites). Ogedei was coddled by his father and personally selected to be the warrior to carry on his legacy, going on to become the second Great Khan of the Mongol Empire. Ogedei wanted nothing more than to make his father proud, so did what any good son would do given the circumstances: he continued raiding China and India until he reached the end of the continent… that’s a good boy.
#5 – Princess Stephanie (Leopold II)
Leopold the second is like the Hitler that nobody knows, which is crazy considered just how brutal he was. No one associates Belgium with unmistakable acts of violence, but under Leopold’s order nearly 20 million people were forced into slave labor, and countless other millions of Cantonese were tortured and slaughtered in his name. Leopold is responsible for the death of 50% of the Congo’s entire population (around 10 million), and made sure the dead were put to good use via cannibalism. Within 30 years of Leopold the second coming into power all but 2 African countries were conquered by the Europeans, which is shocking when you hear that prior to Leopold all the African Countries were free.
Leopold had a daughter named Stephanie that actually got to live a fairly normal live (aside from being royalty), and she managed to do so by fleeing outside of her father’s jurisdiction; she shacked up with various royalty and established herself as an heir to several fortunes. Leopold couldn’t care any less about his Stephanie, and saw her as a distraction for his life’s calling, which was apparently killing people from the Congo. Stephanie went on to invent and patent a chafing dish, and lived out the rest of her days in as much peace and quite as she could muster.
#4 – Feodor I of Russia (Ivan IV Vasliyevich)
You know you’re in for a bad childhood when your father is nicknamed “Ivan the Terrible.” Ivan was a Russian Tsar, but more importantly he was very very cruel. One of Ivan’s favorite pass times was to chuck animals from very high places, and he destroyed several cities out of paranoia that they were secretly plotting against him. Ivan may not have generated the multimillion death counts that some of the other names on this list have but what he lacks with quantity he makes up for in quality: he had a personal affixation with torture and murder, enjoying the sound of pulling ribs out of people’s body with a hot poker, before eventually being poisoned to death while playing chess.
Feodor was a darling boy but was unfortunately mentally deficient; he was given the rights to rule but most of the responsibilities were delegated to the people around him due to his inadequacies. Since Feodar bore no children his death meant an end to the Rurikid dynasty, which would sent Russia into a spiraling descent into dark times; this was actually Ivan’s own fault since he accidentally killed his eldest son in a fit of rage!
#3 – Mihnea cel Rau (Vlad III Dracula)
There have been some pretty nasty nicknames thrown out over the years but “Vlad the Impaler” is just going to have to take the cake on this one. In case you didn’t notice that Vlad’s last name is “Dracula” I assure you that this is no coincidence: Vlad’s thirst for blood inspired the creation of the iconic vampiric character. Vlad loved one thing in the world and that was watching people die: his favorite method was to sit people in top of dull poles and watch as gravity took their life over the following days. Vlad liked impaling so much that he would have entire towns butchered via impalement and would eat lunch while listening to the cries of the people: he impaled 100,000 people… he really earned that nickname.
Vlad’s son Mihnea was a pretty bad apple, but sometimes your old man just has you beat plain and simple (I mean those are some pretty big poles to fill if you catch my drift), but nonetheless he still tried; Mihnea aggressively sought to continue his father’s reign but was inevitably overthrown by the Ottoman empire. Mihnea was certainly no saint, but he didn’t do much to earn his nickname of “the evil one,” it just turns out that if you’re the son of the devil that word gets around pretty darn fast: go figure!
#2 – Yakov Dzhugashvili (Joseph Stalin)
Joseph Stalin is perhaps the coldest hearted husband and parent to ever live; he was a raging alcoholic and battered his wife into submission, and during a disagreement he shot her to death. When doctors refused to sign a certificate that claimed her cause of death was appendicitis he killed them too: the next doctors were probably shocked to see a whole room of appendicitis victims. Stalin’s Son, Yakov, wasn’t exactly a saint himself: his wife, Yulia, only married him because he arranged for her to be divorced from her husband and to be wed to him (but girls like confidence, right?).
Stalin despised his son, and as a result of his poor treatment, Yakov tried to commit suicide by shooting himself, but his aim was off and he mangled his face instead; when Joseph saw what his son had done, he mocked him and said he couldn’t even shoot straight. Yakov would later fight in the Second World War and was captured by the German forces; despite being tortured his father wouldn’t negotiate for his release, stating that his son was no different than any other solider. Yakov succeeded at killing himself the second time around, when he intentionally ran into a powered fence at the POW camp he was held in.
#1 – Jean-Marie Loret (Adolf Hitler)
Hitler is the most infamous dictator of all time, but he never had any children…or did he? The Frenchman Jean-Marie Loret (and his son Phillipe) seem to think that Hitler not only had a secret affair with an unknown woman, but that Loret himself is the product of it. Loret has been met with a great deal of skepticism, and no one seems to take his claims seriously, but that didn’t stop him from going to the media with the story and writing his own autobiography titled: “Ton Pere s’applait Hitler” or “Your Father’s name was Hitler.
Loret had this bombshell dropped on him by his mother in 1948, but she had only done so because she was nearing death: of course no one else was there to verify it though. Learning his origin brought a great deal of complication into his life, and it was recorded that his wife actually left him when she found out the truth about where he is from. Loret has visited significant places all over the world to see firsthand what his father had done, and tells anyone who will listen about his history. I guess the only thing worse than being the son of Hitler is that nobody believes you (or maybe that’s a blessing in disguise).
No comments:
Post a Comment